Been too long...

1 step forward, 1.5 steps back...or at least that's the way it seems sometimes. Not keeping up with my workouts...not keeping up with the blog and for a while I was floundering. My new goal is to compete in the Team Universe in July. I completely slacked off in November. I was at the gym only twice. Needless to say I was all around depressed. Too depressed to get my ass to the gym and too depressed BECAUSE I wasn't at the gym. By the end of December, I should be back to my old strength and conditioning levels. And then take it from there. I have to buy a new wall calendar and take some before pictures. Tonight, its shoulders. Tomorrow: full body. Day after: shoulders. Day after that: rest. Day...well, you get the idea. Tonight I'm goofing off on the nutrition. That is to say, eating whatever and however much I want. Tomorrow I start phasing in better nutrition choices. I've read nutritional websites on the Mountain Dog diet and that looks like something that is sustainable and will get me looking great. Of course, I'll keep checking out sources like T-Nation.com for more info.

New direction...new purpose

October was shot. Completely shot to shit. I caught a nasty cold early on in the month and was down for 2 weeks. As a result, my mood went deep south. Combine that with nasty cold weather and you have a perfect storm of depression and despair. However, it did provide some personal insight. I have asked myself the question "if I could take a pill that would give me the perfect body overnight and thus eliminate the need for training, would I take it?" I now have the answer: no. I realise more and more that training is more than a means to an end. I enjoy the process.

Recently I read a piece in a philosophy book describing religion as a relationship between you and what you hold most dear. Weight training then IS my religion. I worship at the church of iron.

Now that my cold has passed and I am able to get back into the gym, my mood has lifted from the deep crevasse. I need to adjust my training for the next couple of weeks. I need to up my conditioning. I don't feel like I could go 10 or 15 rounds. A little micro-circuit of 3 or 4 weeks of high intensity interval training (HITT) and complexes should help that.

6 1/2 weeks out

I'm not competing in November 2011. I've looked at my progress and although I have made big strides in fat loss, I don't feel I'm in the shape or condition to pose onstage. I still have too much body fat...from contest ready bodybuilder point of view. The actual percentage is probably still in the high teens and at this point the only way to get it low enough to see abs and real muscle definition is a crash diet of nothing but protein powder and/or tuna and water for the next 6 weeks. Not about to put myself thru that kind of torture and even if I did, there is no guarantee of success. Sure, I'd lose fat but I'd go thru living hell and in the end probably appear pretty flat onstage.

So, I am not giving up on competing or training. Its still something I want to do and will do. The earliest will probably be May of 2012.

What I've learned so far:
Preparing for a contest is hard. Much harder than I anticipated.
Preparing for a contest takes a lot of concentration both in and out of the gym - you have to stay focused.
My general diet is much, much better now. I'm at a weight and bodyfat percentage that I could easily maintain.
I have to go back to the workouts that work...for me. Switching out different workouts that I see on the internet is a sure way to stymie any progress. Doing something different just to be different is valueless...in this case. (Can't say that in all cases cause the world is not black & white but shades of gray). When it comes to muscle growth and fat loss I know what works for me and what does not. So why did I switch? I bought into the promise that the workout would be a quicker route...a short cut.
There are no short cuts. And I need to remember that.

The competitive schedule for 2012 hasn't been put out yet. When it does, I'll post the new date. In the interim, I go back to training and training and training.

Diet woes...

Just want to say that its hard as hell going from a crappy diet to a restrictive, bodybuilding cutting diet.

Incorporation: Harder than I thought

Okay, I started to truly incorporate my diet AND my workout. And then I fell off the diet in a matter of 2 days. Way off. Like western Siberia off. But hey, that's why pencils come with erasers, right? Right? <crickets>

Anyway this is why I started 17 weeks out as opposed to 12 weeks. Gives me a little leeway to figure this out. Chaos at home (so what else is new?) has made it even more difficult to eat & train on a consistent schedule. Even more important to train in the early morning before work.

I haven't uploaded the self shots. Probably my next post. In the interim, I have a much clearer picture in my mind of the body type I want. <Here> or <Here #2>.

You'll notice that although these 2 gentlemen are large, they still have a classic 'X frame', unlike the gentlemen in <Here #3>. Hey, no disrespect to these guys, its just way too extreme.

A little honesty...

I'm a 41 year old male. College graduate. Married. Two kids. House. Two cars. Steady job. I also have a problem with follow through. I dream big dreams. Huge, impossible/improbable dreams. Smaller ones too. I start on little and big projects (too many to list), get a little something done and then...drop it. Probably for a variety of reasons, not just one. Fear of completion or success, laziness, not taking all the parts of the project into consideration and ending up with a huge mess, lack of funds, lack of interest. The list probably goes on and on. I have another issue: whenever I take on a new project and actually finish it, two things happen: 1) I usually take no pride or interest in the completed work. I may brag about it to others but the project has no intrinsic value. The second thing that happens - and is somewhat related to the first - is that I can't believe the project actually got done. I disassociate from it. To me, someone else did the work and I just sat back. I mean to change that. Shortly after I turned 41 I decided (somewhat on a whim) to take on a new project: ME. I decided I would train and enter a bodybuilding contest. Its a narcissistic sport to be sure but it had and still has, intrinsic value to me. My hope/end goal is that by going through the rigorous process of training and dieting and shaving and posing is not to win - although that would be great and I will train to win - but to compete and more importantly, to LOOK like I belong up there. I am hoping there will be some sort of "trickle down" effect on the rest of my life. I want to cut through all the negative (inside and outside voices) that are telling me one reason or the other why I can't do this. "Too old" "bad genetics" "you're a quitter and always have been" "You like Twinkies too much".

I picked out a contest and contacted the promoters about any prerequisites for competing. Just pay the fee: $100. The date: November 12, 2011. The place: NYC. The contest: NPC Eastern Bodybuilding Contest.
I'm starting this online journal as I am starting the 'cutting' diet. 17 weeks of cutting. And yes, I will post progress pictures. Just a couple of more notes: Competing clean with no steroids. I don't have an issue with 'roids per se, I just want to do this clean. Personal choice.